Again, shame on me! In the spirit of kindness/forgiveness in my previous post, I've made a conscious effort to forgive my uncles and am once again astounded by the weight that has been lifted from my shoulders. I can honestly say I have finally forgiven those long-time hurts. I have written a letter to each type of uncle, neither of which will be sent (though if you are my uncle you should know which letter is intended for you). Read on.
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Dear Uncle,
I have been watching you. I know we don't talk often, but I have always looked up to you. I have always known I would one day choose a man to spend eternity with, and have always looked to the men in my life to determine what kind of man my husband would be.
When I was a child, I hoped he would be just like you. You always had time to play with me, to tease me. I knew you loved me unconditionally and always would. Your arms were safe, somewhere I knew I could run if I was sad or scared or just because I wanted to. I watched the way you loved your wife, and wanted my marriage to be just like yours.
I grew older and so did you. You became busy with your own family and we grew apart, but I've never stopped watching you. I've now watched you make choices that have scared me, choices that have broken my heart. Your family has fallen to pieces--that wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't see it coming. How could a man I've known, loved, and trusted allow such a thing to happen to his family? How will I know who I can love and trust if the man I've loved and trusted has become a man I do not know and cannot trust?
I don't think you realize how closely I've been watching. I don't think you ever thought your decision would impact me so deeply. I don't think you know how many others have felt the shockwaves of your family's destruction. What if you knew? You will know someday when the Lord causes these things to become clear. It makes me sad for you. What pain you must have to bear when you are no longer blinded by this world! Someday you'll know how many of us have been watching.
What you did was not right--I cannot condone your decision no matter how you tell your story. But please know I have moved on--it has taken time, but my heart is more open and trusting than ever and your decision no longer plagues me. It no longer guides my actions. I have been watching others too, and they have been steady. They have helped me to trust again. Please know that I forgive you. And I pray for you. I have learned from you--thank you for teaching me to be careful. I am still watching.
Your Niece
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Dear Uncle,
I have been watching you. I know we don't talk often, but I have always looked up to you. I have always known I would one day choose a man to spend eternity with, and have always looked to the men in my life to determine what kind of man my husband would be.
When I was a child, I hoped he would be just like you. You always had time to play with me, to tease me. I knew you loved me unconditionally and always would. Your arms were safe, somewhere I knew I could run if I was sad or scared or just because I wanted to. I watched the way you loved your wife, and wanted my marriage to be just like yours.
Life has not always been kind to you, yet you have remained steady. You have kept your family and the Lord close, and have taught me to do the same. I owe so much to you! Although I spend my time with others, I still know I can run to you. I still watch the way you love your wife, and want my marriage to be just like yours.
Thank you for being a constant and steady example of the kind of righteous man I should marry. Thank you for inspiring me to be the kind of woman worthy of a man like you. I am still watching.
Your Niece
